


Faith Shorts

by theneighborhoodentity1



Category: Faith (Airdorf Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Feels, Body Horror, Character Death, Cults, Demonic Possession, Demons, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Halloween, Heavy Angst, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Instability, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Priests, Religion, Swearing, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:01:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 18,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26718694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theneighborhoodentity1/pseuds/theneighborhoodentity1
Summary: Well, it's just as the title says. I'm doing some short stories due to my hype for FAITH Chapter III. They might not be any good, but it HAS been a while y'know?
Relationships: John Thomas Ward & Father Garcia, John Thomas Ward/Father Garcia, John Thomas Ward/Karen (Implied)
Comments: 16
Kudos: 23





	1. (1.) Where do your demons hide?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something bad happens to John.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eyyy, guess whos back on their bullshit!! so i got pretty hyped due to the trailer for chapter iii (heres the link to that: ) so i decided ill make some one shots to capitalize on that hype. hope yall enjoy it, with my hype train

_ Garcia didn't want to do this. He truly didn't. If he could change things now, he would do his very best to avoid ever doing what he was about to do. But he was far too gone now. There was no saving him. The demon already took hold of him, and it was not letting go. He can't let the demon hurt anyone. He can't the demon trick him. But still, it hurt nonetheless. As he holds his shotgun up and takes aim, he can feel his heart ache. "Why? Why did it have to be like this?" He thought to himself. "Why did it have to be him, of all people?!" Then he recalls that demons would do anything to cause harm to the human world. Even if it means taking away something important. _

\---------------------------

John had just made it into town. His nightmare from last night was the final straw for him, he knew that he didn't truly end it all. Not until the cult was gone. Stepping out of his car, he looked around at the crumbled up city. "Well, this is where the cult is." He told himself. It certainly fits the role. If a cult were to hide somewhere, it'd be in a practically abandoned town with it's memories stripped of it as time marches forward. He began to wonder the empty streets of what seemed like a fairly decent city back in its heyday. He found in an alleyway a dead pigeon. A bad omen, for sure. As he continued, he found a form of life. A cop, wearing purple. His car was parked in an alleyway, and this lone cop was blocking off the entrance to an apartment building. It seemed like there was some police tape too. He walked up to him, but the cop held out an arm. "Hey! Stop right there buddy. This is a crime scene, you're not allowed in." John gave a confused look. "I don't... plan on going in. I just wanted to ask a couple questions--" "You better back off before I call for reinforcements." The cop spat out. John raised his hands up in defeat and began to walk off. "Well, that was something..." He said that it was a crime scene, so this could possibly tie in with the cult. But with the cop not even wanting to talk to him, what was he to do? As he began to walk back, he noticed there was a backdoor that wasn't blocked off. He went up to it and grabbed the doorknob. It rattled for a bit, "It's locked." He looked at the cracked window that was on the door. Suddenly, he got an idea. He pulled his arm back, and punched the glass with all the force he could muster. Sure enough, the glass broke with ease, but at the cost of that, John got cut. A small sacrifice for getting in. He wrapped his arm through the wide hole in the glass, and reached for the knob on the other end. After a swift turn, the door was open. He was in.

\---------------------------

Garcia stopped when he got into the abandoned city. He really didn't want to go out in this area, since he's heard bad things about this place. But, he's also heard that the Chubacabra was finding sanctuary here. Michael. However, he wasn't letting himself go there unarmed. He knew what Michael was capable of. He looked in his rearview mirror. His gaze fell onto the shotgun in the backseat. He closed his eyes, and sighed. Well, he has to go now. There's no turning back at this point. And he cannot allow Michael to hurt anymore people. He turned around, grabbed his shotgun, and got out of the car.

\---------------------------

John looked around at the room he was now in. It looked like what would be a storage room. There was an array of boxes and items lying about on shelves that nearly reached to the ceiling.  It was in pretty poor shape, as everything else in this town seemed to be. He quickly saw a door at the other end of the room. He went towards it and opened it. It appeared he was on the  first floor. He began to wander the complex, checking around for any signs of the cult anywhere. He quickly found out that the area the police officer was blocking was locked from the inside.  "Strange..." He told himself. He walked around for a bit, before he stopped at a door. This door had a bloody handprint on it that slid down to the bottom. Was this where the supposed  the crime scene was? It took him a while, but he mustered up his courage and opened the door. The scene was a lot worse than he thought. There was blood everywhere, ceiling to floor. But what  was worse was that there was a pentagram on the floor.  _ "They're here." _ He thought. Suddenly, the door slammed behind him. He quickly turned to the door and in a panic, rushed over to the  door and tried to open it. Nothing, it was locked from the outside. He turned back to see there were now some lit candles on the wall. Terror filled his soul when he saw something coming out  on the floor.

  
  


\---------------------------

_ "Oh c'mon, why'd it have to start raining?" _ Garcia thought to himself as he walked along the empty streets of the town. He was getting all wet now, and he didn't like a second of it. He thought of how crazy he must look to any bystanders. A man dressed as a priest, with his hair an unkempt mess, wailing a gun around in the middle of the road. He prayed that no one truly did live in this town after all those crazy rumors came up. However, that thought was clearly false when he saw a cop car. He hid at first, not wanting to get caught with a firearm, but noticed that no one was in it. He looked around. "There's no signs of any police here..." Even if that was right, he didn't want to test his luck. The cop who owns this car could come back at any moment. Plus, Michael was nowhere to be seen. He might not even be in this town. All in all, this didn't seem worth the journey after all. So, he was about to turn and go back to his car. However, he then noticed an open door. This door had its window broken into. Garcia instantly wondered if Michael could've caused this, considering he  _ did _ escape by jumping out the apartment's window. Gun in hand, he slowly crept into the building.

\---------------------------

John burst out of the room, bloodied and beaten. His knees instantly buckled and fell to the floor. He didn't think he'd make it out alive. He turned around and noticed the demon wasn't chasing him. He let out a sigh of relief and got up. The door suddenly slammed shut, making John jump. Well, now he was on a mission. The cult was here, he just had to find them. Maybe they're on some of the other floors?  _ "If they are on the other floors, I must quickly get to them." _ He thought to himself. His first idea was the elevator. He made his way over to the elevator, and pushed the button. After a short while, the doors opened. He walked in and examined the buttons. He was shocked to see that there were 10 floors in this place. He decided to check out that first. However, the moment he pushed the button, a demon appeared right in front of him. He let out a cry of surprise, and attempted to get away from the thing. However it would only get closer to him. John reached into his pocket for his crucifix, only to find it wasn't there anymore.  _ "Shit! I must have lost it in the other room!" _ He looked up in fear at the monster as it let out a blood curdling scream--

\---------------------------

Garcia found himself on the first floor of an apartment complex. The place didn't look very appealing, but that's not really saying much considering he lives in a similar complex. He held onto his shotgun as he looked around for any signs of Michael. And soon enough, he found one in the form of a bloodied door. He cocked his gun as he prepared to be ambushed by the demon, put a hand on the knob, and quickly opened the door. There was no one inside, luckily, so he lowered his gun. But the scene still wasn't pretty. His eyes fell onto something in the middle of the room. A golden crucifix. He slowly made his way to it, crouched, and picked it up. "...Is this... Johns?" He was cut off by the sound of a scream. "Oh, no!" Garcia exclaimed, as he quickly got up and ran out of the room. If John was in here along with him, and he didn't have his crucifix, he could be killed! Garcia wasn't going to let that happen,  **especially** not to John. He couldn't let John get hurt. He couldn't... Because he was...  _ "No, don't think about it now. I must help him first. " _ Garcia thought to himself. He held up his gun and kept going.

\---------------------------

\--However, the demon didn't do anything. He stood there for a moment, took a step back, and disappeared. John stood still, paralyzed. He didn't know why the demon didn't take the opportunity to hurt, or even kill him, but honestly he was glad it didn't. Suddenly, he noticed the elevator made a noise. By itself, it selected a floor. As the doors began to shut, John snapped out of it and attempted to make a run for it. However, before he could get through, the doors shut on him. He attempted to bang on the doors, as a call for help, but the elevator slowly began to ascend up. He didn't know where he was being taken, but he was terrified to find out. 

\---------------------------

Garcia made it to where he heard the sounds, which seemed to come from the entrance of the apartment. He looked around, clutching his gun. He didn't see anyone. Then he looked up at the 

elevator, and saw that the "up" sign was glowing. Someone was currently using the elevator. "That could be John..." Garcia said. There was no reason for demons to use elevators, and this place did seem abandoned. So, it must be him. He looked down the right hall and saw a staircase.  _ "Well, that's the only way to get to him." _ He thought. He began to walk down the hall as his mind went to John. What was he even doing here in this town? What kind of coincidence caused both of them to be there at the same time? And why did he leave his crucifix behind? Something was definitely wrong, and he needed to find John before anything bad could happen to him. Yeah, because he... he... "....." The silence wasn't nice, nor did it help calm him. But it certainly made Garcia think, and Garcia didn't want to keep thinking about John... like that. But he was. "....." He needs to find John, quick.

\---------------------------

The elevator came to a stop, and when the door opened, the entire room was dark. The only light source seemed to be this elevator. John almost didn't want to get out, but he tried to push other buttons and it wouldn't take him down. So, his only option was to move forward. He stepped out into the hall and the elevator instantly closed behind him. Suddenly, candle light began to fill the room. "Oh no..." John whispered under his breath. And right on cue, they were there. The cult. He couldn't tell you how they suddenly appeared, but they were now. And they were surrounding him. One of the red robed figures took a step toward him. "Ah, hello John. We meet once more." The cultist said, "It's good to see you!" John didn't say anything, which made the cultist frown. "Oh, c'mon. That's not how you greet your ol' pal Gary." "Enough of this, if you're not going to do anything to me, I'd very much like to leave." John angrily told him. Gary gave an amused look. "You think we're going to let you go that easily?" He began to laugh, the other cultists chiming in too. If John had the guts to, he'd punch Gary in the face. "Oh priest, you're so funny." He said, wiping a tear. Gary suddenly grabbed John by his collar, and hoisted him up. John struggled to get out of his grip, "We need to have a little 'chat' with you, first." 

Suddenly, gunshots came from behind some of the cultists. Gary snapped his head over there to see… Father Garcia, shotgun in hand. His eyes widened, "Oh crap, we've been spotted! Run!" He dropped John as Gary and the remaining cultists ran down the other side of the hall. Garcia wasn't done though. He cocked his gun and aimed at Gary. John quickly got up. "W-Wait, Garcia!--" He tried to protest, grabbing Garcia by the arm. However, this made Garcia pull the trigger. There was a scream of pain. Gary was shot in the shoulder, instead. He turned around, facing the two. He gave a sinister smile, "Father, you've made a horrible mistake. For I am not the true monster here." He slowly turned his back on them. And then, he was gone. Garcia lowered his gun and turned to John, "Are you alright? Did they hurt you?" John was… in shock. "What… how did you… I never thought you could…" Garcia gave a nervous chuckle, "Look, we can worry about… all of that later. We need to get out of here first." John quickly nodded, but made note of himself to keep true on his end and actually ask what the  _ hell _ that was all about. 

Together the two attempted to use the elevator. Somehow, however, it still wasn't working. "Wait… but I thought the cult had power over the building." John told Garcia. "... Maybe they don't have  _ all _ the power they want." John got nervous,  _ were there demons in this building _ ? Garcia noticed, and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "I wouldn't worry too much, John. There's a flight of stairs we can take back down. I didn't have trouble going up so I don't think we'll encounter anyone." John gave a smile, "Okay, good…" So, as the two walked down the hallway, John couldn't help but feel comfort when he was around Garcia. Sure, he had no real way of knowing how he got there, but that didn't stop him from feeling this way. It was reminiscent of a dream he had not too long ago, where Garcia saved him in a similar way. Maybe it was fate? Nonetheless, he still trusted him and was overall glad he was there. He found himself giving a smile. Garcia took notice, and was a bit surprised. "Hm? John, what's got you so happy?" John nervously looked away, he might've been blushing. "Oh, it's nothing Father." Garcia gave John a look of suspicion, but went with it. "Okay, if you insist."

When they made it into the stairwell, though, it didn't take them very long to find a problem. When they got level three, they saw that there were many boxes and assorted items blocking the way down to the first floor. "Damn it, was this the cult's doing?" Garcia mumbled under his breath. However, John heard what he said and gave a shocked look, "Father…!" Garcia realized what he said, and shook his head. "My apologies, I'm just a bit frustrated." He looked on towards the dark hall that was floor 3. "There could possibly be another stairwell on the other end, seeing that's where the cultists went." John nods, "Yeah, it wouldn't hurt to check, right?" "Alright, then it's settled. Let's go." 

As the two made it through the hall, nothing really stood out. There wasn't any insane writings on the wall, and cultist items nor imagery. This just seemed like a normal floor. The only true thing of note was there was a mirror in-between the rooms lining the halls. Garcia walked in front of it first, then John. However something in the corner of John's eye caught his attention. He froze, completely stopped walking, and put all of his attention on the mirror.  **There was a demon behind him. The demon in question was smooth and had something similar to skin, but not exactly. It had many teeth and a wide mouth. The demon wasn't doing much, but slowly began to place its hand on his shoulder. And it slowly let its hand trace up John's neck, and lightly gripped it--**

John screamed. Garcia quickly turned to see John backing himself against the wall in from of the mirror. Like he was trying to avoid something. He quickly ran over to him, "John, are you--?!" But before he could even ask, he saw it. There was a demon lurking over John, giving them both a sinister grin. Garcia was in shock, "What… But how?! You were--" And then, it clicked. The pieces stuck together, but Garcia didn't want to accept it. He couldn't, he wouldn't! … But he had to. 

John was possessed.

The demon took control of him in that room, thus why his crucifix was left alone there. That was why the cult was trying to track John down instead of evacuating the building immediately. They had found a host for a new demon. Garcia walked back in shock. John looked over to him, "...Father? Father, what's wrong?" Garcia snapped his head back at the mirror.  _ The demon was gone. _ "Father?--" Garcia aimed his gun at John. He looked utterly terrified. "Father Garcia, what are you--" "John you've got a demon inside you." He said coldly. John gave… such a sad look. A look of complete despair and betrayal. "... Father, no…! Please, don't do this!" John held his hands up to show that he wasn't going to attack, and fell to his knees. "I'm not going to hurt you, please… I know that was weird, but there's no way there's a demon…" Garcia held his aim directly at John's head. He didn't say anything, but he could feel something in his heart hurt. John was starting to cry, "Father! Please… I'm begging of you! I don't… I don't want to die like this!"

Garcia didn't want to do this. He truly didn't. If he could change things now, he would do his very best to avoid ever doing what he was about to do. But he was far too gone now. There was no saving him. The demon already took hold of him, and it was not letting go. He can't let the demon hurt anyone. He can't the demon trick him. But still, it hurt nonetheless. As he holds his shotgun up and takes aim, he can feel his heart ache.  _ "Why? Why did it have to be like this?" _ He thought to himself.  _ "Why did it have to be him, of all people?!" _ Then he recalls that demons would do anything to cause harm to the human world. So, he held up the gun, and… 

He threw it down to the ground with such force. He put his head in his hands, "I'm sorry! I can't do it!" He yelled out. John looked up in shock. "... Huh?" Garcia put his hands down. He was crying too. "John… I can't do it. I'm so sorry, but I can't kill you." The pain in his voice was obvious. John's expression softened, "Father…" John got up and began to approach him. "It's fine, I'm sure there's another way to--" 

But suddenly John froze. Garcia watched in fear as John's face began to contort unnaturally and cough up blood. He quickly reached into his pocket and pulled out his crucifix, only for John to swipe it away in an instant. His eyes were completely red now, as he pinned Garcia to the ground and attempted to attack him. However, Garcia tried with all his might to prevent him from reaching his body. John wasn't stopping, it was starting to seem like he was getting stronger by the second. In a last stitch effort, Garcia attempted to grab the gun he threw to the floor with his other hand.  **_"Faaaather"_ ** John sang. Garcia ignored him, as he managed to grab ahold of a part of the shotgun.  _ This was his last chance… _ He quickly kicked John off him with all the strength he could muster, which clearly worked to get John off him. He reached for the gun with both hands, and shut his eyes as he pulled the trigger on John.

The loud bang echoed through the empty hall. There was no sound, no noise of surprise or anything. Garcia opened his eyes to see John, only lightly holding the now open hole in his chest. He looked at Garcia, one last time, then collapsed. Garcia let out a scream of anguish. He quickly crawled over to John to see if there was a chance he was still alive. Nope, there was no pulse. Garcia began to tear up, "No… No!" Why… why did it have to be him? That was the only thing on his mind as he held John's lifeless corpse in his arms. Couldn't anyone else suit the role of host? Why did it have to be the priest,  _ his _ priest? He clutched onto John as he sobbed his heart out. Why did it have to be… the man he loved?

… The police were going to come soon, he knew that much. There was no way all that screaming and gunshots could go unheard. But he didn't want to leave, he didn't want to leave him alone. He couldn't, he couldn't leave him. They might suspect he murdered John. And to an extent, they were right. But no matter what punishment he will face, nothing will hurt more than losing him. That is what's going to stick with Garcia for the rest of his mortal life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...uhm chill, anyways i believe one of the endings in chapter iii will be garcia shooting john--  
> ok but seriously, i will be making up for this depressing intro back into writing their relationship thing with something i havent written for this fanbase yet: fluff. hope you enjoyed this, and stay tuned!


	2. (2.) It was nice.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Garcia have a heart to heart.

John woke up in a panic. Once again, a nightmare of his own making caused him to have to wake up. But this dream was horrible, different from the rest. He put a hand on his chest, to make sure he was alright. And to make sure it was over. This time, his nightmare was surrounding him getting lost in a labyrinth. A labyrinth full of the monsters and ghouls he's met, with Amy of course pulling the strings. What was worse when Garcia got dragged into it.-- 

He winced at the thought of it again. God, he felt horrible again. He hated when this happened. He let out a sad sigh, and rubbed his eyes. What time was it? It still was dark out… Oh, but he couldn't get that nightmare out of his head! It was filling up his mind with god awful fears and terrors. He almost did cry.

However, the man next to him apparently heard him, and leaned up next to him. "... John?" John turned his head to see… Garcia. "Oh, I'm so sorry. Did I wake you?" John asked, placing his hand on the back of his neck. He chuckled, "Obviously." John felt guilty now, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean too." "Hey, don't worry about it. It's fine." He replied with a smile, as he placed a hand on John's shoulder. John gave a shy smile back. He still wasn't feeling well, and he hoped it didn't show. Unfortunately, it did. Garcia frowned, "Are you alright John?" John gave him a tired look, "... Not really, no." Garcia moved closer. "What's wrong then?" John sighed and leaned on him, just a bit. "It's my nightmares." "Again?" He asked, sounding concerned. John silently nodded.

Garcia gave a sad look to John. "Oh, John… I'm sorry." He held his arms out wide, beckoning John. He instantly fell into them, and embraced in a hug. Garcia wrapped his arms around him and John let his head rest on his chest. John gave a content sigh. "Feeling better?" Garcia asked, rubbing his back a little. "A little bit…" Garcia snickered, "Of course." They stayed silent for a bit, simply just enjoying the embrace. Garcia then let go, "How 'bout I get us some coffee, hm?" John smiled, "Yeah… sounds good." The two got up from the bed, and made their way out. As they walked together, John stopped briefly to look at himself in the mirror.

It's been a couple years since the incident. The one that would permanently change both of their lives. It started with Amy Martin, and ended the same. They both finally got rid of her and the cult for good. They won! But sadly, at the cost of two lives. Lisa and Karen. John still missed her, but has learned to move on. Of course, they were thrown out for disobeying the Vatican's orders, and now they weren't ordained anymore. Honestly, though, they were fine with it. After everything that happened, they were done with being priests anyways. And of course, now they were together. Living together without any worry of demons or creatures trying to kill them. It was peaceful. It was nice. He enjoyed it.

But of course, this couldn't go without some downsides. For one, the nightmares. They still haunted him to this day, and made him paranoid, despite all these years of nothing happening. He still has that fear that his reflection would move on his own because it was possessed, all because of that one fright. And there was also the fear of discrimination. Look, he's not really afraid of it all that much. They've gone through hell and back together, so why would they care about what the people whisper to one another? Still, it was always an afterthought to him.

John took a seat in the kitchen. He looked at the clock, and it was actually 6:00am. " _ Huh, _ " He thought, " _ It seemed like it was a lot later than that. _ " His eyes went to Garcia, who was preparing the coffee. He was actually humming some song John couldn't recognize. John smiled, he thought it was cute. As soon as Garcia was done, he handed John a mug full of the bean juice. "There you go." He held his own cup up, and took a sip. 

John looked down as his cup. He stared at his liquidity reflection. Then, after some time, he finally took a drink. Garcia always made the best coffee. However, this didn't stop Garcia from asking "Is it any good?" A light smile spreading across his face. John rolled his eyes, "Of course it is, what are you talking about?" "Just making sure." He simply replied. 

They sat quietly, enjoying their drinks. Before this, John never enjoyed the silence. It was always eating away at him, scaring him, and paranoia would reek his mind. But now, he was grateful for it. He found  _ comfort _ in it. Oh how far he's come. "Hey, Garcia." John finally spoke, looking at Garcia. "Hm? What is it John?" He asked back. "... Do you ever feel bad for what happened to Michael?" 

Now, that question took Garcia off guard. He didn't speak for a bit, collecting his thoughts. Then, he responded. "Well… Yes, of course I do. There's still this side of my that still blames myself for what happened to him. It's always 'if only I did this, maybe things would've gone differently.'" He paused, "Still, there was really nothing I can do to help that poor boy. And now he's gone. If I could go back and find a way to help him, I would."

John was… taken aback. "Wow, I didn't think you felt this strongly about that too. It was really heartfelt." Garcia nervously chuckled, "This might be a little messed up but… I really haven't thought about him in a while. It felt like it was all so long ago." John chuckled as well, "Yeah, I get that." John went to take another sip, "Well, is there any reason you wanted to know?" 

John put his cup down and sighed, "I don't know… Amy's plaguing my mind again, and I was wondering if you were in the same boat." "Oh." Garcia lightly said, putting two and two together. "I'm sorry John, it's--" John shook his head, "Don't apologize, it's not your fault I'm having these nightmares." Garcia nodded, "Okay, well, let's be frank here." He leaned forward. "We both have some pretty bad trauma. Plain and simple. But John, you shouldn't keep dwelling on it. It's not good for you." "I know!" He exclaimed, "I know… but I've always struggled with moving forward. It's how this mess with Amy started anyways." 

Garcia took some time to think. Silence filled the air, painstakingly causing an internal time bomb in John. Then, Garcia spoke up. "Well, do you… need any help?" John thought. He didn't want to end up back in the psych ward, that didn't help him with Amy before and it won't help him now. So, he merely shook his head. "No, I just need… a little more time to move on." Garcia gave a light smile, and placed his hand on top of John's. "Okay, take all the time you need."

\---------------------------

They put their cups in the sink, and after they went outside. They both were standing on the porch. Side by side, they watched as the sun slowly began to arise from the horizon. John looked at Garcia. His attention was currently on the forest around their home. John sneaked him a kiss on the cheek. Garcia looked surprised, then glanced at John. He gave a wide smile, then went back to watching. The sunrise was beautiful. It was nice. They enjoyed it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just…. i just want him to be happy :(  
> ajsjskdj ok but, if yall want, i can take any requests/ideas. just pop it in the comments, and i might write it! (just… be careful with nsfw, im not ready to jump into that)


	3. (3.) The Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garcia gives John a visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if this ones a bit short, but i still hope you enjoy. im cooking up a good one for you guys in the meantime.

John hadn't expected to see Garcia today. Then again, he hadn't expected to see him at all, at least for a while. But there he was, at his front door. It was raining, so Garcia seemed to be soaked. He had a stern look on his face, but he didn't seem like he was trying to scare John. "May I come in?" Garcia finally asked.

John snapped out of thought, and quickly nodded. "Oh! Yes, of course Father." He opened his door enough to let Garcia in and Garcia stepped in. John shut the door behind him. He didn't know what Garcia could possibly want, but he couldn't really be mad about it. He could almost say he was happy to see Garcia. John went to check up on Garcia, who was just taking off his trenchcoat. "Uh, just take a seat anywhere you'd like." He quickly told him. Garcia nodded, "Okay, will do." 

Almost on cue, the two went to sit down at a table, facing one another. It was quiet. John hated the quiet, so he attempted some small talk. "I apologize if the place isn't very tidy, I didn't expect you to come today." Garcia gave a small chuckle, "Well, that is mostly my fault isn't it?" John shook his head, "Not really, I just haven't had many people here, y'know?" "Of course." … And the silence was back. So, it was time to ask the big question. "Uhm… If you don't mind me asking, why did you come here?" 

Garcia looked like he was a bit taken aback, like he completely forgot about that. "Oh, right." Suddenly, he had on a serious face. "I've heard you've been wanting to return to the Amy Martin's residence, despite the Vatican's strict orders not to." His brows raised in surprise, "Where did you hear that?" "That doesn't matter. What does matter is if they're true." John suddenly got nervous. What could he do here? Lie to Father Garcia, a person he trusted more than himself or tell him the truth, possibly getting himself into more trouble? 

He was starting to fidget with his hands as he gave his response. "... Okay, yes. I have… thought about going back there and going against them." Garcia's eyes shot daggers at John. "John! You can't disobey the Vatican like that! Even for a case like that, you could lose a lot." John avoided directly looking at Garcia. "I know… But still, it's a personal matter I need to settle." Garcia pressed him some more, "John, I don't think you are really thinking about this. We're talking about demonic possessions here, and you're treating it like it's an insignificant task you were assigned. It's dangerous and--"

John slammed his hands down on the desk, making Garcia jump. "I don't know why you're so interested in my personal life. Not to be rude Father, but this is absolutely none of your business." Garcia looked… hurt. "I'm sorry, John… I was just worried about you. The moment I heard about this, my mind couldn't let me just let it go. I would feel horrible if something had happened to you." John didn't seem to be fully paying attention. He got caught up in his head again, his anger. He quickly got up from his chair, "It's fine. I just need a minute." Before Garcia could reply, John already had his back turned on him and heading down the hall.

He rushed into his bathroom and made sure to lock the door. He moved to his sink, and stared at himself in the mirror. He looked horrible. What was happening to him? Why did he just outburst in front of Father Garcia? He tried to get a grip on himself, but he could feel it.  _ Something was off _ . And then he could hear it. Something was calling him. No,  _ someone _ . He knew exactly who it was too. Amy Martin. She's in his mind, beckoning him back to that house. He grabbed the sides of his head, internally trying to push whatever this was down. But it was so much louder, repeating the same message in his head:  **_GO BACK TO THE MARTIN HOUSE._ **

Before he knew it, he was slamming his head into the wall mirror. Even that didn't help him in the end, all it did was cut him up and break the mirror, its cut pieces showing a distorted version of himself. It was then he decided what to do. Well, it was left of his decision, and more of an out of body impulse. He hurried out the bathroom, went to his room and picked up the only thing he needed: his crucifix. He shoved it in his pocket and left the room. He hurried down the hall, but he remembered Garcia. He was still there. 

That didn't stop him, though. Even when Garcia began to ask, "John? Are you alright?" He got up when he noticed John was ignoring him, "John, where are you going?" John reached for the car keys, before Garcia grabbed his shoulder. "What has gotten into you?! I'm asking you something!" John merely brushed him off, squirming out of his grip and grabbing the keys. He reached for the doorknob, but before he could, he was shoved by Garcia. 

John was now pinned, Garcia was blocking the exit and completely surrounding him. Garcia's face was plastered with anger, as he loomed over John. " **John!** I know what you're trying to do, and there's no way I'm going to let you go to that house. I'm not letting you get yourself killed, damn it!" John was starting to get a grip on himself. He wasn't all there, but when he was, he was worried. However, it was for more reasons than just one. He could feel his face heat up, as he suddenly began to understand the gravity of what he's done. 

"I'm… I…" He attempted to speak, but all the words fell flat. Garcia looked down on him, filled with worry and confusion. He couldn't see why he was getting all upset at the moment. John looked fearful, "Oh, God, what have I…" "If you're wondering, you didn't do anything. You just tried to get out of the house." Garcia responded, trying to calm him. "No, that's not what I was…" He trailed off. No, he couldn't tell him this now. This was a horrible moment, he just wished this was over. Still, his mind couldn't help but wonder there if not for a moment.  _ How sinful.  _

Finally, he got the courage to speak. "Father, I'm so sorry… That you had to see me like that." Garcia gave a look of sympathy, "No no, John…" Garcia moved in closer, till they were only inches apart. "You don't need to apologize for anything, you didn't do anything bad. Even I could tell you weren't there completely." John shook his head, "Still, that was completely wrong of me…! That shouldn't have happened, I--" Garcia whispered, "John, if we're being honest, all you did was trying to leave the house. But what was bad about it was that you were going to the Martin's residence. I'm sorry if I come off as bothersome, I just don't want anything bad to ever happen to you… and I could've prevented it."

John can't help but keep his complete attention on Garcia. Garcia sighed, and finally gave John a little bit of space. John gave a breath of relief, and he even put a hand on his chest. Good god, why was that so tense? "Okay, but you were right," Garcia continued. "This really is none of my business. If you want to go to the Martin's home, I won't stop you anymore. I won't even tell the Vatican, this could be kept just between us." John finally gained the courage to speak. "Father, I can't thank you enough for the concern. And I'm so glad that you're willing to keep a secret for me. Words can't even express it." 

Garcia gave a smile, the first one he's really given John since he got here, "Well, don't worry about it. It's just something a friend would do." John returned a smile, but it didn't seem as genuine. "Yeah, friends…" Garcia looked down at his wrist. "Oh, I should get going." John watched as Garcia put back on his coat. He turned back to John one last time, "Thank you for having me over John, I anticipate seeing you again soon." And just like that, he was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> headcanon: the psych ward didnt do a good job at all with john, and theres still something terribly wrong with him. but he has a fear of telling anyone because he might end up back in there. fun right? :)


	4. (4.) He's still there.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John keeps getting visited by a familiar face. But how is that even possible?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was based around an old au me and my group of friends came up with. i might make another fic on this later, but for now take this!
> 
> and boy oh boy do i love tension and symbolism.

I can still see him. I didn’t think it was possible, but here we are. Father Garcia, a man I used to consider very close with. However, it ended very quickly by my own hands. Still, I see him even now, as I look at myself in the mirror. He’s behind me, giving a wide grin. “Oh, John! Might I say, you are looking marvelous.” No, I’m not going to respond. I know where this is leading, and I’m not going to let him play with my head. “Red really is your color. It suits you!” The room got quiet. His face dropped, “Oh c’mon John, don’t be rude. I’m talking to you.” I let out an angry sigh, “What do you want?” Garcia gave a smile nonetheless. Even when I’m obviously in anger because of him, he decides to smile. I hate it. “I just wanted to chat, that’s really all. I don’t see what the big deal is.” He calmly said. “Don’t lie, you know exactly why you’re here. You’re here to bother me again.” Garcia giggled, “Guilty as charged!” He walked closer to him, until he was right beside me. “I was just wondering, are you proud of yourself?” “What do you mean?” “Do you take pride in what you’ve done? Because to me, you aren’t very happy.” I facepalm, “That’s because  _ you’re  _ making my life a living hell. I’m so tired of you.” Garcia laughed, “That’s the point.” And then, he was gone. “ _ Finally… _ ” I thought to myself. 

As I donned my red robe, my mind went back to him. I still can’t believe it. Despite the fact he’s dead, he’s still here. Tormenting me. But, at the same time, it’s not really him is it? That’s not that Garcia I knew. He could’ve changed, sure, but I know how he’s changed. He’s now a demon. A demon that decided to haunt me for forever more. Do I deserve it? I’d like to think not. I don’t regret anything, not anymore. However, what I did to Garcia… I could see why he would want to torment me for my crimes. Still, there’s nothing much I can do now. If the demon wants to claim me, it already has. It’s decided who to torture. For now, I must deal with it. I walk out of my room, and make my way to where we will be meeting. 

When I get there, I can see a couple of members gathered around, their faces all hidden in the shadows created by their robes. I can hear some making small talk. Then, I see Gary turn to me with a smile. “Ah, hello John. Good to see you here. We’re just about to gain a new member." "Oh? Who is it?" I ask, intrigued. "It's this woman named Catherine. She said she wants to join our family, so we're waiting for her to get her sacrifice." "What is it that she must sacrifice?" "I… don't know, she said she knew exactly what but never really told me." I turned my head, "I thought you told them what they had to sacrifice." Gary rubbed the back of his head, "Well… to an extent." Suddenly, the newcomer rushed in. "I'm ready." She said. Gary smiled, "Wonderful. Let's begin." 

Soon, the ritual began to commence. We all were surrounded by the summoning circle, watching intently as Gary spoke some phrases from his book. However, my mind began to wonder. This was reminiscent of how I joined too. I watched as the woman stepped up to Gary, and was handed a knife. The members all watched in anticipation as the woman raised her arm up, and began cutting away at her left hand. Gary gave a nod. God, I wished it was that simple for me… " _ Wait, no! I can't think about him. _ " But it was too late, my mind began to plague back to… that night. The night I wouldn't ever forget.

\---------------------------

They had us surrounded. I knew it, I could just sense them, but it seemed like Garcia didn't. we were both together, all I had to do was point Garcia into the right direction and we'd be set. Garcia turned to me, "So, what is it that you wanted to show me?" I didn't know what to say at that moment, so I quickly made up something. "I found a new lead on the cult." Garcia looked shocked, "You did?" I nodded. "Yes. I think this will help us out a ton." Garcia gave a smile, "Well that's great! You've really made use of your time." I gave a small smile. I had to play along. I knew what was going to happen. And yet, why did I feel so worried?

We both walked into the planned meeting room, and I shut the door behind us. It was an empty room, but I knew they'd suddenly come out when they could. "So, what's this lead you've found?" I didn't say anything. "... John?" "He's here." I said aloud. That was the signal. On cue, the cult appeared from hiding. They quickly surrounded the two of us, with shocking speed. It seemed like Garcia was startled, and as he looked around, grew afraid. "John, what is this?" He asked with a quiver in his voice. I didn't dare to speak. I couldn't, even if I wanted to. He seemed to be in shock, like he didn't fully understand what was happening, nor could he process it. A couple of the members took this opportunity and knocked him to the ground, and forced him to stay still. Still, he tried struggling, which was hopeless.

I took out the dagger I hid in my pocket and held it up, enough for Garcia to see. To me, this was the moment when it finally clicked in Garcia. "John… No please, don't do this!" He yelled out. I don't know if it was just me, but it sounded like he was on the verge of tears. "John you're better than this! Don't give into the cult!" I kept quiet, until I forcefully grabbed him by the shoulder. "Goodbye, Garcia." I believe his last words were " **_John, no!--_ ** " But I couldn't hear it all the way when I sliced his throat open. He started violently bleeding from the wound. I got some of his blood on my face. His hands instinctively went to his throat up in pain. It almost sounded like he was choking. I let go of him after that, letting him crash to the ground and bleed on the ground. Gary came out of the circle with a big grin, "Well done John. I was a bit worried you would be manipulated by the priest, but you still held true. Welcome to the family."

When I looked back down, Garcia was already dead. I dropped the dagger without knowing it. "Gary, I feel horrible. I don't know why, but my heart is in pain." I tell him. It was true, I did feel something bad form in my chest. But I had a feeling of what it was. "Oh, I know. It's not easy at first, but soon you'll harden up! It just takes some time." He told me, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder. I simply nod. Together, the group started to head out. I gave one last look at Garcia, and then I left.

\---------------------------

Sometimes it seemed like only yesterday when that happened. To this day, I still feel like there's something bothering me. Sure, I've hardened up like Gary told me, but it feels like there's still a gaping hole in my chest. Before I knew it, the ceremony had already ended, and I went back to my room. I threw off my robe and was ready to sleep. I hopped onto my bed, and my eyes fell on the mirror. And guess who was there waiting for me. "Hey John, how was the recruitment?" I groaned and looked away. "Oh John…" Then, something unexpected happened.

I felt hands touch my shoulders. I jump in surprise, and look at my mirror. There, it shows clear as day who was grabbing me.  _ Garcia _ . "You can't just keep ignoring me and hoping I'll go away." "How are you doing that?!" I yell at him. "You've never been able to physically touch me!" Garcia merely chuckled, "It's a secret." I tried squirming away from him, but I could feel that he was on top of me. "Get off!" I exclaim. But why would he listen? He never does. 

"Hmm… I wonder if you knew how painful it was." Garcia began, "How it felt when you slashed my throat." Suddenly, I felt a finger trace my neck, slowly moving across in a straight line. "The way your knife cut into my skin, and so quickly too. Like you practiced it. Or, you could've done it to someone else before. How am I to know?" I was frozen in fear. I didn't know what to do. What  _ could _ I do there? "And then my blood! Oh, what a rush it must've been to see me gush on you. Watching the life drain from my eyes. It must've been so pleasurable for you, I can't even imagine it!" 

I was getting really uncomfortable. I didn't know where this was going, nor did I want to find out. I would have to find a way to get out of this situation and fast-- "I'm sure you enjoyed killing me. Didn't you John?" … Oh? He wanted me to actually answer him? "Wha…?" I blurt out. His presence was looming over me, "You must've enjoyed killing me. Why else would you kill the man you felt so close to? Someone you enjoyed spending time with, someone who trusted you just as much as you trusted them. Why, I might even say…" I could feel him get closer to me. "The man you loved with all your heart."

My eyes widened. "... E-Excuse me?" I ask, noticeably shocked. "You heard me. I know how you felt about me. You don't do a very well job of hiding it." I nervously chuckled, "I-I don't know what you're talking about. I don't… I've never loved Garcia, nor any other man." Garcia sighed, "Oh, you're still denying it. That explains a lot." I could feel him lean close. "Think about it: you've been feeling something strong when I was alive, and now I'm dead, you've felt horrible. Do you not want to connect the dots, or are you just ignorant?"

I took a moment to actually think. When Garcia was alive, I did feel something strong around him. I always pushed it down, but I realized it would happen when he smiled. Or, at least when he was very kind to me. I didn't really get it. I also didn't get why I almost cried when I watched Garcia slump down lifelessly. "... Oh my god." This has got to be the worst time to learn this now… That I loved Garcia.  _ In front of the demon pretending to be him _ .

Garcia laughed, "See! Even you've noticed it! I loved you John, and I trusted you. But look at me now." He leaned back, getting off John for a moment. That gave John false relief, that would be quickly shut down when something grabbed at his collar. He was tugged out of where he was until he was right in front of the mirror. Finally, he could see Garcia again. He was grinning, gripping onto his collar tightly. "Well John, let's have one final dance for tonight, shall we?" And he disappeared again.

"Oh, not this shit again…" This was a game of hide and seek he liked playing on me. Because he could make himself appear and disappear at will, he always has the upper hand. He always wins. It was all to make me paranoid, and it was working once again. I looked around the room, checking for any signs of him. I bet if I still could use a crucifix, he'd be done for by now. But of course, I cannot anymore. Suddenly, I feel arms wrap my chest. This was ten times worse now that I could feel Garcia. I squirmed out of his grasp and could hear a laugh echo. It's not done, there's one more round he likes to play. I just had to watch…

But no, he made himself very apparent. He was standing behind me in the mirror, with a smile. "Today was  _ fun _ . I simply cannot wait for tomorrow." He told me. Instantly, my mind went as to why he would want to end this torment so early--

Then I got my answer. He kissed me. It was very light. Almost couldn't feel it. But I could still see what he did.  _ He was planning this all from the get go, didn't he?  _ He turned back to the mirror and looked at me through it. "See you tomorrow." He simply said. And he vanished.

I was speechless. That whole interaction, it boggles my mind as I tried to understand everything at once. However, I realized that he really was my final straw. I was drained. Drained of everything I had trying to fight him off.  _ Maybe it was the kiss. _ Anyways, I finally laid down in bed and tried to fall asleep. 

  
However, it was very difficult with what I now learned. I accepted my old feelings, and for what? For it to dawn on me that my love is gone, and forced to be taunted by his image forever more? For the first time in a while, tears fell from my eyes against my own volition. " _ Maybe… Maybe I do deserve it. _ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ThE OnLy TiMe I eVeR sEe HeR  
> iS wHeN sHeS bEhInD mE iN tHe MiRrOr
> 
> also side note, i feel ive made it unclear in the writing, but "garcia" isnt really garcia. i dont want to get too into it because if im making a second one of these, theres going to be spoilers. lets just say for now that john believes that this is a demon pretending to be garcia. but know that its only called garcia for my convenience and not ""The Demon"" or something. sorry for any confusion.


	5. (5.) Does she know?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This time, John gives Garcia a visit. But, my friends, not for a good reason.
> 
> TW: IMPLIED ABUSE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey yall! got another short one for you guys. im doing this mostly because im also trying to work on a halloween special thats gonna be fun and all that so  
> hope this will keep you all from waiting too long

Garcia was quite surprised to see John on his doorstep. Well, it was more or less a surprise to see him at this time. It was extremely late out, it was most 2 am. He had gently knocked on the door, which startled Garcia at first. John greeted Garcia with an awkward smile. "Uh, hello Father. May I… come in?" He asked. Garcia took a moment, then quickly nodded. "Oh, yes. Absolutely." He let him in, holding the door behind him. Once John was in, Garcia shut the door behind him and made sure to lock it. John was likely going to be there for a bit.

"I'm really sorry if I've awoken you." John apologized as Garcia made his way to him. Garcia chuckled, "Don't worry about it, I don't get much sleep anyways." John gave him a genuinely worried look. "... Oh, I'm sorry." Garcia sighed, "You have no need to apologize John, it's not your fault." He reassured. The two remained quiet as John took a seat on the coach, Garcia following suit. The silence filled the space quickly. It wasn't all necessarily bad, just a bit uncomfortable. What could they even talk about right now? Well, neither of them want to even talk about why he's here. So what is there to do?

John decided to break the silence for a bit, asking "How have you been?" Garcia gave him a look, "It hasn't been that long John. Nothing changed from the three days you weren't here." John nervously chuckled, "Well, you never know right?" There was a pause. It was a bit awkward, but yes. John had come running to Garcia a couple times this past month. Garcia eventually stopped asking why, for his sake and John's. He probably wouldn't want to talk about it either.

However, Garcia had to confirm something. "John?" He looked at Garcia, "Yes Father?" "Does she know about this?" He wore a stern face as he asked him. John was taken aback, "What do you mean?" Garcia sighed, his expression dropping a bit. "Does she know you're here? That you keep visiting me?" Oh. John tried to reply, but the words died before it could reach him. So, instead he just stared at the ground in an attempt to gather his words. The tension was just stabbing him in the back, and it was starting to hurt like hell. Sometimes it did, when talking to Garcia. Was it just the truth that hurt, or was it something more…? Nonetheless, his mind was getting to him. He had to be truthful here, to Father.

Finally, he spit it out. "No. No, she doesn't." Garcia gave him a sad look, "John, you must tell her at least something. You can't keep her in the dark, she'll start thinking you're doing something bad." John merely shrugged, a tired expression breaching his face. He gave a sad smile, "Father, with all due respect, my wife doesn't trust you in the slightest. She thinks you're as insane as I am, if not more. If I told her I was going to see you, she'd get angry. And I don't like it when she does…"

Oh, right. One time when John was over, he mentioned to Garcia in passing that sometimes he comes over when Karen is "on one of her bad days." Garcia thought what it could've meant, but now it was right in front of him. And it hurt. He felt horrible for John. "I'm… sorry." That was all he could muster up to say. As much as he wanted to try and make him feel better, he didn't want to overwhelm him. More silence followed.

Garcia decided to do something… risky. But he felt it was right. He spread his arms out wide and surrounded John in a bit hug. John must've been taken off guard by it, seeing how he didn't move nor talk. However eventually he returned it back. Garcia could feel John's grip being a little tight. He really did need this. And Garcia was happy to give it to him.

When the two pulled apart, John gave him an actual smile this time, with some of the sadness being overshadowed. "Thank you… Really, I can't thank you enough Father. Even if she doesn't trust you, I still do consider you a close friend. So it does hurt a bit when she yells about the one person I can truly trust." Garcia nodded. "... I'm glad you think of me like that. As someone trustworthy. And trust me, I feel the same way. In all the chaos of everything as of late, I'm glad to have you by my side." John flashed him a grin, "Same here."

After that they didn't talk. John needed the quiet, and then he was gone. Garcia would always look back on these situations, wondering if he should've done something more to help him. After all, it is always in his nature to help others. However, he felt different this time. He believes he helped John a lot more than he thought or intented. He is glad for it though. That poor man has been through so much, he deserves it. He could only hope that things would get better from now on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah i tried to make this one more for interpretation when it came to how close they are, platonic or romantic. either way it works.
> 
> its a bit shorter, and a little rushed too so sorry if its bad. i didnt have a proper prompt for this and it made me regret a lotta stuff--


	6. (6.) Our Hallow's Eve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garcia takes John somewhere spooky for Halloween.

John and Garcia were on a walk. One was directing the clueless other to something he believed was some mindless fun. A break from the chaos. The night was cool, you'd almost freeze if you weren't careful enough. It really set the mood for their venture into the dark as they both headed downtown. "So, are you going to tell me where we are going, or am I still going to be in the silence about this?" John asked as he turned to Garcia. He simply smiled, "No, I told you before this is a surprise. You can trust me on this." John chuckled, "Okay…"

As clueless as John was, he was curious for what Garcia had in mind. He told him while they made their way over here that he had something special planned. Despite it all, he trusted Garcia. He could only hope for something good. As they went further into the night, he noticed there was a house. A dark house, that was painted black and brown. Green lights emulated from the windows covered by white blinds. Garcia stopped in front of the house. "Well, we're here." John snapped his head to Garcia, "Garcia, what is this?" He asked, pointing at the house. Garcia, unalarmed, simply told him. "Oh, it's a haunted house attraction." John blinked. "What?" Garcia gave a confused look to him, "You know, one of those halloween attractions where the people pop out and scare you. There's always good word for this one, so I thought we'd go." 

"... Are you serious?" John asked. Garcia, confused, simply nodded. "Yeah…?" He was in shock. "After everything we've been through?" John said, with increasing worry. It hasn't been that long since they've gone through the events that transpired at the Martin's house. John was still shaken up from it. Was this some kind of sick joke? If not, what the hell was going through Garcia's brain? "I didn't think much harm of it John, I merely thought this would be something fun to do tonight." He explained, "If it makes you feel any better, I can assure you none of these props are real." 

Even if Garcia was trying to lighten the mood, John wasn't having it. "Still, I'm not too sure about this." Garcia gave him an amused look, "Are you scared John?" John took offense to that, "What? No! We've seen real monsters, I'm not afraid of some fake costumes." "Well then I don't see what you're worried about." He said, "If you know they're fake, why are you stressing out about it?" John crossed his arms. "Well, it's complicated. Let's just say that." Garcia raised his brows in suspicion. "It just sounds like you're scared." "I'm not!" He insisted. Garcia chuckled, "Okay okay, if you say so."

Nonetheless, the two ended up going in. John still seemed apprehensive about it, but still followed suit when Garcia headed in. Once the door was shut behind the two of them, it was really dark in the room. You could see some faint red light shining on the walls, but other than that, it was too dark to see. "I don't like this…" John whispered. Garcia shrugged, "Well it's too late to go back now. We just have to continue on." John was dreading this. Yeah, he's just going to stay behind Garcia during this… 

Garcia was walking through the house with no real fear. After all, most of the props weren't much of anything. Even when there was a person who would jump out at him, he didn't give much of a reaction. Oh, but John on the other hand? He was terrified, if he wanted to admit it or not. He instinctively jumped at everything that popped out in front of them. God, at some point he even tried reaching in his pocket for a crucifix that wasn't there. If it was, though, it'd take a lot of explaining to get out of that one.

Halfway through it, John grabbed Garcia's arm. He didn't do much with it, just gripped it. Garcia looked back at him with a playful look on his face. "Oh, do you want me to hold your hand?" "Shut up." John whispered, getting reasonably flustered. So the further they ventured, the closer John got to Garcia. To feel safe, of course! Nothing more… right?

The exit had to be close, it felt so long since we've gone in, John thought as they rounded a corner. That thought might've been the only thing keeping his hopes up. Of course, though, when they made their way to the end of the hall, there was one last jumpscare waiting for them. A demonic looking shape appeared from the shadows and screamed loudly at the two. John jumped, again, but this time Garcia had a reaction. He looked startled. It wasn't much, but the look on his face told many things. Like, the scare actually got to him. However, Garcia only froze for a second before he shook it off and continued on. That's when John noticed, Garcia was… 

They had made it. Right after that scare, they walked through an opened doorway and now they made it out of the attraction. Garcia looked back at John with a smile, "See? That wasn't so bad." John had… a big grin on his face. Which was fine, but something felt off about it. Like it was mischievous… "Yeah, you were right. It wasn't as bad as I thought." He replied. Garcia pushed the feeling down, "I'm glad…" Weirdly enough, John was still walking behind Garcia. Usually, they would walk side by side when making their way back. So, as they began to leave the site, Garcia looked back at John once again. "Hey, is something wrong?" John, still with that wide smile on his face, quickly replied. "No, not at all." Garcia cocked his head, "Really? Then why are you--" And then, Garcia suddenly realized.

He was holding John's hand. He didn't remember when it happened, but it might've been when he got startled. "Oh!" was what he ended up saying in surprise. He hadn't realized it at all, he felt so embarrassed. His hand quickly fell back to his side as John's playful behavior took form. "Seems like I wasn't the only one who was afraid, Garcia." Garcia didn't say anything. Not like he could, if he truly wanted to. John smirked, "And you were the one who wanted to come here in the first place!" John must have felt like he won something when he saw that Garcia could still get scared, because he sounded almost proud of himself… for nothing.

"Okay fine, I did get scared there… But you can't blame me for it when you almost jumped too!" Garcia finally said, defending himself a bit. John scoffed, "I'm only saying all this because you were acting all unafraid of everything." "That's really petty John." "And?" Garcia ended up rolling his eyes. There was no convincing him that this wasn't as big of a deal. He might as well just let him win this one. "Alright, you win." He said with a sigh. John gave a smile. That was all, he just smiled. It could almost be seen as genuine.

They continued walking back. They were going to part ways the moment they made it back, as per usual. However, before they made it, Garcia's mind began to wonder. Back to when John was teasing him. If he was aware that whole time that Garcia was holding his hand, why didn't he say anything? Or even pull away? Garcia turned his head towards John. He seemed to be in thought, a light smile spreading across his face. Garcia smiled and shook his head. Maybe he did it on purpose. He might've kept it from him because he wanted to tease him, sure, but what if it's something more, something else? If that's the case, there might be hope for them… For them becoming more. But, for now, they've still got each other's company on this Hallow's Eve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy halloween! wanted to give you guys something nice this time around, so i hope yall like it. i might go on a short hiatus, since im tired, and ill pick up writing whenever i get an idea. see yall around


	7. (7.) In The Eyes of God

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John sends Garcia an... interesting letter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so im back. hey. good to see ya--  
> i wanted to try out a new writing style, and i think it turned out well. i hope you enjoy it, too.

So, there we were. Together, side by side, preparing for the mass. Most importantly, in God's sight. He must've been staring at the two of us, watching our every move. I look briefly at you, Father, only for a moment. Ironically, I wanted to pray that this could be over already. But still, we must do what we need to do. 

As it began, I looked out at the crowd staring at us. Watching our every move. Just like God, only more judging. You begin to say the first sermon, I get a gut wrenching feeling. Not with physical pain, though.

I don't think you know this, but I hate being stared at. Or at least, the feeling of it. Even if there's no one there, just the thought that something is watching me with beady eyes shakens me to my core. I know it's odd, I work everyday by talking to people. Often, with crowds at a time. But I believe part of my fear comes from the idea that whoever is watching will get horrible information about me.

With how much you and I hide from everyone, the vatican included, anything could be used against us. You begin to read the sermin to them, the followers. You sounded so confident there, and proud. You made every word there sound like complete and utter truth. It was incredible. You are incredible.

Soon, it came to be my turn to read. I step up to the podium and open the book, as per usual. With this sort of thing, I never really was… Nervous before. Why it's coming to me now, I have no clue. I've always been a beaming spirit, with my words always reaching the people. I can just feel it, I might fall flat on my words. Fail to enlighten people. _Fail to play the part._

Why? _Why? **Why now?**_

Nonetheless, I forced myself to suck it up as I began to speak. "God is not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he said, and shall he not do it? or hath he spoken, and shall he…"

But then it happens. I freeze up. I don't understand why it was… here that caused me to stop, but my words suddenly fall flat.

…

What's the problem? Just finish the damn line, John. It's not a big deal. They're waiting on you, John. You must do this for them. If not, for him.

But I can't. Why? The words just won't come out. Why won't they let me? How should I know?

I look out at the audience of people.

_They're watching._

_They're all watching._

_Their eyes are all on me._

_They can see through me._

_They can see my lies. They can see my secrets. And God, he's watching. Why isn't he helping?_

**_Oh, God, make it stop! Please! I beg!_ **

...

_Oh, but why would he answer to me?_

_After all, I am a sinful being in a priest's clothing._

Why am I a sinner? Well, to put it simply, I'm a queer. You wouldn't know it, but I've always been one. If you knew it, however, I would be quite ashamed of myself. I've always caught myself staring, when you weren't looking. You're intoxicating, my friend. My closest friend. My love? Maybe in my dreams.

But still, I'm sure you can see the problem here. Imagine if this got out, in this town. " _There's faggots in our churches! Watch out, or else you'll catch it! Burn them!_ " A mockery, an embarrassment, especially on the church's part, and if I'm lucky, even a death sentence. It's the same old song and dance.

But that is the question though: is this truly a sin? Maybe in their eyes, but what about in the eyes of God? He made me, didn't he? So is this on purpose? Is he making me a puppet to these sinful actions on purpose? Because it's starting to truly get to me Garcia, I swear…

… I wish not to bring it up, but my mind is a dangerous place sometimes. You've seen it in action. Those impulsive choices that let us to the path of hell, with demons lurking every corner. But it's not just that anymore. You're involved now.

While we are alone, my mind would go to those… _sinful_ places. Like when we were near the changing closet, so what if I fantasized having my back against the wall and kissing you until my lungs gave out? I'd say it's a problem, but to what degree? 

If God wanted me to be like this, how horrendous of an act is it? Truly?

I look over at you. You seem a bit concerned. You have every right to be, then you give me a look. I'm not quite sure what it was, to be honest, but I could tell you were trying to beckon me to continue. I nodded quickly, to show that I was getting to that. 

Then you smiled. God, may he forgive me for using his name in such vain, but your smile is just… so pretty. It's always so sincere, so innocent, so kind. My heart would instantly melt and rot away if it could. I wish, I just wish I could see it more. Most of the time I see you, your serious presence keeps us on track when searching for the cult. Going through dangerous territory and facing horrible demons, you were always the one keeping everything stable. Keeping me sane.

I let out a light chuckle, I don't think the audience heard it. Suddenly, my courage to continue is found. You had given me my voice back. _My savior._ "... My apologies, let's continue." And I got through it, alive. I didn't see much of a negative reaction to my pause from the usual church goers here.

When everyone left, you came to me. You placed a hand on my left shoulder, to which I put all my attention on you. You asked, "John, are you alright? You seemed stressed when you were up there reading." That worry apparently didn't leave you, unfortunately. It was written all over your face. I didn't want that, you shouldn't have to stress out about _my_ well being. "Oh no, I'm fine!" I insisted, "Just had something on my mind..." 

You didn't respond. Your eyes, as kind as they can be, can stare daggers directly into one's soul. You knew then, didn't you? Knew that I wasn't fine, and that something was horribly wrong. Well if you did, I wouldn't have put it on you if you were planning on leaving early. But, you still stayed. Right by my side as I put everything away.

As comforting your presence is, and despite how badly I wanted to like this, with you, I had somewhere I needed to return to. I grabbed my things, and met you by the door. We looked at each other for a moment, and I told you, "Well, see you soon, Father." And just as quickly as I said that, I was out the door and on the way to my car.

I still think about that, a lot. I wonder how I've survived for this long, in this damn town. But if you're reading this after all, you should know that I'm probably going to kick the bucket soon, trying to finish what I started. All I ask: Don't try and stop me. 

If by some miracle, I'm alive after this, we will definitely need to talk about this letter, wouldn't we? I'm not worried, not anymore. I've told you what I needed to. I've confessed my sins to the best Father I know. We might as well not stress it.

Thank you, and I'm sorry.

John Ward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> john has a public anxiety attack while in church (in HD)  
> ok all jokes aside, ive been listening to those songs about the lgbtq with religious themes lately. so thanks hozier, now we're here.


	8. (8.) I need answers.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm really desperate right now. If I don't act quickly, I'm going to really lose it. I need answers… I know only one person who can help me now."

I'm starting to reach my breaking point. Garcia, the demon, he's been starting to really get to me. That first act of fake affection has led him to try… other things. And they are definitely starting to get to me. If I wasn't already crazy, I would've completely lost my mind by now. But despite all this time, I've still got almost no idea how he's doing all of this. I'm being left completely in the dark. I'm really desperate right now. If I don't act quickly, I'm going to really lose it. I need answers… I know only one person who can help me now. Gary.

Gary has led me through difficult pathways and has helped me understand my true purpose. Surely he will know what to do with this demon problem of mine. To be honest, the only reason I didn't want to tell him this before was because I thought he'd just… go away and find another host. But telling by how he's been acting as of late, he doesn't plan on stopping. No matter how much I scream and beg. 

So, after a meeting, I stop him before he leaves. "Excuse me, sir. I need your help with something." He turns his head to me, "Oh? What guidance do you seek?" I winch, "Well, it's difficult to explain… Can we discuss this privately?" Gary nodded, "Absolutely. Come with me" I followed Gary as he led me through the corridors of this building, knowing the place like that back of his hand must mean he'll find some place _well hidden_. Good. No one else needs to know about this.

We stopped at the end of a hallway. He opened the door to the last room and backed up against it. He wanted me to go in first. I quickly made my way into the room, and he followed suit. As he shut the door behind him, he put his attention on me. "So, tell me, what is bothering you?" I nervously fidget a bit. God, how am I going to explain this _lightly_ to him? "Okay, Gary… This might be hard to believe, but… I've been in close contact with a demon for months now, and it's starting to get into my head."

That caught Gary off guard. "Oh… I thought this was a minor issue John, you've had a demon haunting you for _months_ and you didn't bother to tell me?" "Well, I wasn't sure of it's intentions before," I try to explain, "But now I know of it's intentions." Gary cocks his head, "And what might that be?" I let out a heavy sigh, "It only wants to see me in pain. It has something… personal against me and it only wants to see my suffering." 

Gary gave a concerned look, "Huh… Well that's odd, demons don't usually have personal vendettas against mortals. Usually it's a general sadist thing if demons want to prey off suffering." He puts a hand to his chin, thinking. "Did you do anything specifically to bother any demons?" Oh no… I really didn't want to tell him this demon was taking the form of Garcia. But it seems like I have to if I'm going to get any help from him. "Yeah… about that sir, this demon somehow… knows of my sacrifice victim. And uses that form to taunt me."

Gary gives me a… weird look, "Okay, hang on a second, demons don't do that." I'm just as confused as him, "Wait, what? They don't?" "No! Demons don't change their forms to try and claim hosts. If anything, that sounds like a fictional ghost trait, like in movies and whatnot." I go speechless. "... Wha… How… Then what the hell…" "Look, John," Gary begins, "Whatever is bothering you right now, it's not a demon. So, I hope that helped you, but I must take my leave." He gave a short bow, and left the room. I stood still. I didn't move for a bit. I would say I was frozen, but I'm not sure about that either. All I knew is that I needed to confront Garcia with this.

When I get back to my room, I rush to my mirror. "What the hell is your problem?" No immediate response. "Hey! I know you're in here! Get out, now!" And on cue, I see Garcia slowly emerge from where I came in. "Hello, John." "What the hell are you?" He cockes his head, "What do you mean?" " _ **What the hell are you?!**_ " I repeat myself with growing anger. He scoffs and gives a smile, "I don't get what you're confused about. I'm Garcia, remember? Your love--" "No!" I yell out. "Gary told me that demons don't do this to hosts, or hell, anyone! And that whatever the hell you are, you're not a demon. So answer me! What the actual hell are you?" Garcia laughed, "Oh, right. That. I forgot you had spoken with him today."

He wraps his arms around my neck, in a weird sort of embrace, and leans closer to my ear. "Did you really think I was real, John?" I give him a confused look, "... What?" "Did you actually believe for a while that this is a work of a demon here? Because now the cat's out the bag." He backs off of me. "You want the truth, I'll give you the truth: I'm not a demon. I'm not Garcia coming back to haunt you for the horrible deeds you've done." He points at his temple, with a big smile. "I'm all in your head."

I take a step back. "No… no there's no way, you can physically touch me!" Garcia's brow raises in amusement. "Can I? I mean, the only times I apparently can is when I'm alone with you…" I shake my head. "No, no! You can't just lie to my face and expect I'm going to believe it!" Garcia laughed, "John, why is this so hard to believe? You've had mental problems for who knows how many damn years, and God knows your conscience isn't clean in the slightest."

I'm in shock, "No…" "Yes, John." He quickly responds, "You have to understand John, every little torment I've done to you is all of your own making. I'm your brain's punishment for killing him. The man you loved so much. Since the cult had washed away all your original sense of feelings." I shut my eyes and shake my head. "No, this can't be--" However, when I opened my eyes, I was hit with the sudden reality. He was gone. Without a sign or trace, he was just gone.

I thought I'd be happy about this. I hated him, he was making my life a nightmare. But when he left, I broke down. "God damn it… I know you're still there!" I yell to the mirror, "Come out now! This isn't funny!" Without my screaming, it was so quiet. No one was there, after all… I fell to my knees without my knowing. I could feel the tears well up in my eyes. "God damn it! _Come back, please…_ " I had started to sob, " _Please… prove to me I'm not insane…_ " No response. 

This has… truly weakened me. I've just confirmed to myself that the ward didn't help me in the slightest, and I was still… fucked up. Still, that didn't hurt as much as the thought that… I've been punishing myself. I missed him that much that I had forced myself to remember what I did every day of my life? That is nothing short of torture. A question that I hadn't thought in a while creeped its way into my head.

_God, why did I do this? I loved him… And I was the one who killed him. For what?_

**_ This pain isn't worth it. _ **

I curled up into a ball, sobs occasionally coming out without my permission. I didn't move for who knows how long. So much time had passed, but it couldn't go any slower could it?

**_ This is my hell now. And honestly? I deserve it…  _ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so yeah! thats it for the cultist john au. hope this sequel gives yall the answers you wanted--


	9. (9.) Condemned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Garcia share the afternoon together with a couple of drinks, but the night soon turns for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> taking a bit of a different path with this one. youll see what i mean in a bit, but enjoy ;)

_ Even before he did it, he knew of the consequences that laid ahead. What awaited them. He knew of the hellfire. He knew of the monsters. He knew of the rotting. He knew of the suffering. But, he didn't care. Not anymore. He needed this, and very badly. And as it appears,  _ _ so did he… _

John and Garcia were tired. Tired of everything. The demons, the constant state of fear, unhappy homes. They were both tired of it. But, luckily for them, they had each other. They found each other comforted in the other's presence. So, with that, they decided to hang out for an afternoon. Just an afternoon, nothing more. Or at least, they planned for nothing more. 

They had decided to meet at John's place, since it was considerably better than Garcia's. When Garcia got there, he wore a smile on his face. "Hello John." "Hello Garcia." They exchanged greetings. Garcia turned his head, taking a bit of a look at the inside of John's home. "May I come in?" John scoffed and rolled his eyes, sidestepping to let him in. "Of course you can Garcia. Come on…" With a satisfied grin, he walked inside.

When the two got settled in, Garcia noticed as John took out a wine bottle. "John, what is that for?" He asked, pointing at it. "Look, we both had a rough week, right? I think treating each other to a drink wouldn't hurt." Garcia gave him a concerned look. "... Are you sure about this?" "As sure as I can be." John reassured, "Seriously, how bad can it be?" Garcia went silent, thinking. Then, a smile started to spread on his face. "Okay, okay, maybe a glass wouldn't hurt." John smiled, and handed a drink off to Garcia. "Great. Then let's indulge tonight."

The intoxication didn't take long to hit the two. Since the two broke their simple promise of having one drink, they had soon fallen for its effects. They were smiling, laughing at every little thing, and generally having a good time. It couldn't be any better than this. "Oh, John, that simply cannot be true." Garcia said with a giggle. "It is! Someone really thought I was 19." John exclaimed. "There's no way! You don't look anything like a child." Garcia disagreed. "Well that's what happened." John said with a shrug, 'Believe it or not, that's what happened." "That person is clearly insane…" He replied, taking another drink of the wine. Garcia couldn't notice, but John was… doing something odd.

John had been staring at Garcia's mouth. He couldn't tell you why, but he was. A new temptation began to swarm in him.  _ No, no he shouldn't. _ He thought,  _ He couldn't do that to  _ **_him_ ** _ , of all people.  _ He had to keep those bad thoughts down.  _ After all, those sins are worse when they're with a man.  _ But,  _ God _ , was Garcia making it hard for him. His smile made his heart melt. His kind words broke him down everytime. Although he always had this effect on him, he couldn't control himself. Not in this state.

The temptation was becoming too much. The internal struggle was getting to him. Either he condemned his closest friend, or let himself go unsatisfied. He knew he was damned from the start, but Garcia? He couldn't… shouldn't do that to him. But as it has damned many souls, he was starting to succumb to the sin. However, at last Garcia took notice of John's odd behavior. "... John? Are you alright?" He asked, setting his drink down. John shook his head, "I'm fine, I'm fine. Just…" He trailed off. They completely locked eyes, not daring to break the gaze. This silence was his last chance to reconsider what he was about to do, but he threw that all away with his next action.

… He leaned forward, and pressed his lips against his. It was passionate, despite how little of a gesture it seemed... Garcia was surprised. He didn't expect…  _ this _ to happen. However, that didn't stop him from melting into it. His hands wrapped around John, pulling him closer. He didn't know… what was causing him to do this but…  _ God, he didn't want it to stop.  _ It did not take long for things to start getting heated up. The two would refuse to part, only taking brief moments to breath. It was clear one of them was getting more and more dominating, and hands were roaming everywhere. It was all pure bliss, for both of them.

However, Garcia eventually snapped out of his… desperate mindset and risky movements.  _ Right in time, too. His hand was just beginning to grip at John's thigh... _ Garcia pulled away, a bit shocked at… well… what they were doing. "J-John…" He stuttered, still trying to catch his breath. John was a little dazed by the sudden stop, but soon he came to and it sank in what they had been doing…  _ They had been making love to one another, and almost got too close to…  _ "Oh my…" Was all he could muster before he tried to get some space between them. Garcia didn't show any protest, in fact he did the same.

… They fell quiet. All that could be heard from the two were their breathing. "What was… " They looked at one another once more. The two of them… really did that. They both committed what is a well known sin, and they both enjoyed it. It was amazing.  _ It felt like heaven. _ Garcia seemed to be having a difficult time accepting this, "How did I… allow myself to do this? This isn't… allowed. What--" But John cut him off with the placement of a hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry, this is fine…" He reassured. Although they both knew that was a lie. "But John, what about Kar--" John furrowed his brow, "She's not a problem. It's not like she cares about me anyways…" 

What was amazing John at the moment was Garcia's lack of denial for their feelings. With that whole scene earlier, that became their confessions. And yet not a single word was said. "John… You do realize if we are seen like this, we could be… cast away from the church. From the town. And not to mention--" "--Being condemned to hell." John finished. "Well, Father, if I'm being honest, I'd rather be condemned with you than anyone else. At least when I go to hell, I won't be alone." Garcia didn't say anything, he just pulled John into a hug. This hug… seemed like a scared one. He was gripping onto John tightly, and John could feel him shaking. However, that didn't stop him from wrapping his arms around the man he cherished so much.

Condemned are we. Condemned are we indeed...


	10. (10.) A couple rounds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "There is very little people, even the kindest and sweetest of them, won't do when the instinct to survive takes hold.  
> Almost nothing is off the table. So long as Survival is the most likely outcome."
> 
> ...He was going to do it. He was going to finish what he started. He was going to kill Amy Martin... and no one was going to stop him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not too proud of this one, but yknow what? its something

He held the gun in his hands. A shotgun, with one bullet. Well, that could be changed. He had ammo on him. But nonetheless he still had it. He didn't know how it got there, but it would be of great help. He was going to do it. He was going to finish what he started.  _ He was going to kill Amy Martin. _

He's had enough of the  _ torment _ and  _ pain _ that had been caused by this…  **_demonic child_ ** . Patience has run thin, and he was ready to make this end. Even if it was by his own hands. His rage was blinding him, but he didn't know it. But he did know one thing: he wasn't going to let anyone stop him from ending her…

As he tread through the dark forest, he felt… watched. He always did, but it was more apparent out here. The shadows that held the trees in place could easily hide one, if not more people. This wasn't helping ease him in the slightest. His mind would always wonder what might be lurking behind him, ready to attack him at any point… 

However, he then saw a trail of blood. Looking from a distance, he could see it going further and further into the wood. He was nearing a corner, right about to reach a dead end, when something stopped him. A voice, a familiar voice, that came from behind. It told him, "John, stop!" However, the sudden sound instantly made him scared. He thought he was being attacked, so **_he turned around and put two rounds into whoever was behind him._ **

…

He was in shock when he realized who he shot at. So shocked he dropped his weapon entirely. It was Father Garcia, an associate of his, a friend, someone he heavily trusted. He was on his knees, holding at his chest. John quickly rushed to his side, "Oh my God! Father!" He took a look at the wound. It didn't hit him too deep, nor anywhere important. That was a somewhat relief, this meant he could still save him. 

Weirdly, though, Garcia forced out a chuckle. "I… probably should've expected this. After all, I was lurking behind you… while you were armed. Of course something like this would happen." John frowned, "No, no... Don't you dare blame yourself for this. It's entirely my fault. And… I need to fix this. I'm not going to let you die out here." He pulled out his phone and dialed emergency services. While he did, Garcia looked lightheaded, but grinned. "If you insist, my friend."

After the call, his attention went back to the fallen Father. "Okay… They'll be coming soon." Garcia wore a big smile, "That's good…" John checked his body again, "How badly does it hurt." He wheezed, "A lot… a lot, John." "... I'm so sorry Father, I didn't mean for this to happen!" John exclaimed. "I understand that much, John… But you must understand, I was trying to stop you." John tilted his head, "From what?" "Killing the girl, of course!" 

Oh. He completely forgot about her when he got the Father on accident. "... I get you want to stop me. I know you don't want me to, but Father, this needs to come to an end! That child needs to be dead. The demon has gotten to her, there is a point of no return." John exclaimed in retaliation. Garcia went quiet for a bit, and then gave him a stern look. "John, your anger is blinding you from the light. This rage… it's overtaken you. I understand it's been a long time, but John murder is unacceptable." 

John frowned, "I have morals, Father. It's just… I'm so tired. Tired of everything she's done and will do to me if she doesn't disappear." Garcia completely understood how John felt, for he had been through the same thing with Michael. He only wanted to help, but he made things worse for the kid. Who knows where he ran off to now? "I… I understand. I truly do, John. But, you've got to keep holding onto hope. Have faith that things will get better. With that, you can look forward." Garcia gave a sad grin, "Just… please promise me not to do this again."

John nodded simply, "Yes… Don't worry Father, I won't do this again… Not to anyone." He planned to hold true to this promise, because he didn't want to break anymore of these close relations. Soon enough, the ambulance arrived and took Garcia away. When John came to visit, it seemed like he was in stable condition. He would be okay. John was very grateful for many things. One of which was God, for protecting Garcia and keeping him alive for him. He knew that God at least did this one thing for him. And it was a major thing, for all he cared about was  **_him…_ ** and his safety.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow! one of these "the other gets injured" fics, and i didnt kill one off! what a shocker  
> ok but fr, im gonna be doing one more then a christmas special. if the game isnt out by then im gonna finna be a little sad, because i need more content--


	11. (11.) Unexpected Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just when things were looking up for them, something has to come and crash them down.

Things were getting better.

They finally felt like they made some progress, sanity wise. Things were looking up for the first time in a while. John's nightmares were getting less and less harmful, to the point where he just didn't dream. Which, to him, was way better than what he had been enduring for the longest time. He would wake up in the morning, happy for once.

Meanwhile, Garcia was getting better as well. He could feel some of the guilt Michael Davids left behind start to lift from with every passing day. Of course, this doesn't change what he had done. He couldn't save the kid, his attempts to do so doomed the child. But at least he can tell himself that it wasn't all his fault. He couldn't predict what the demon that took that child over would do, no one could. And at least, the child could find peace in the afterlife.

When it came to John and Garcia's relationship though, things changed there too. When they first got together, things were tough. The two had trauma that they had either knew about or didn't, and it ate away at them. Sometimes it was hard to fake a smile for the other. However, as they got better, they could feel them being more… intimate. Hugs and kisses were becoming a norm for them, which often surprised them both. They were opening up to one another, some they hadn't really done before, not properly. To John, not even Karen counted when it came to that.

They were happy, and that's all that mattered to them.

But wouldn't you know it? Right when they were getting better, something comes up and reminds them of the pain.

The day started off normally, with the two of them waking up together. They both turned to each other. "Hello, John." "Hello, Garcia." Garcia shifted towards him and wrapped an arm around him, pulling him closer. He gave him a kind smile, "So, how are you feeling?" John took a second to get his thoughts together, before giving a response. "Better." Garcia's smile couldn't help but grow wider, "That's good to hear." With that, he gave John a peck on the cheek before getting out of bed. "Come on, I'll make breakfast." John chuckles, "Sounds good."

When John made it over to the kitchen, he noticed a newspaper on the table. He picks it up, "What's this?" Garcia, who was still cooking, merely replied, "Oh, it was on our doorstep. I just assumed a paperboy finally came around to our home." "... Huh." That's odd, they were really far out from any sort of route. They never got it before, so them suddenly getting one now is weird. He opened it up, and looked at the headline.

Then, he saw it.

In big, bold letters, the headline read **"SIX TEENS, FOUND DEAD IN CULTIST RITUAL"**

The horror set in quick. 

The moment his eyes fell on those words, his mind instantly went back to their time with Gary. His cult was infamous with this sort of thing, it was the one way they were able to find and end the cult in the first place. But… was this them? There was no way, they got rid of them… They couldn't have come back, there's no way.

Desperate for answers, he continued to read the article. **"ON MARCH 17TH, THE BODIES OF TONY ANTONIO, JEFFERSON DRONE, TYLER BRYCE, MICHELLE BEVERLEY, CHRISTIAN MILLER, AND MARY JANE WERE FOUND IN THE REMAINS OF JOSH AND WAYNE'S, THE OLD OFFICE BUILDING IN --------"** It appeared that some of the paper had been scratched out. Not a good sign… **"ACCORDING TO THE POLICE, THEIR BODIES WERE FOUND MUTILATED. SOME WERE MISSING LIMBS, WHILE OTHERS HAD THINGS INSCRIBED INTO THEIR BODY OF WHAT INVESTIGATORS SAY IS LATIN. HOWEVER, THE THING THEY HAD IN COMMON WAS WHERE THEY WERE FOUND…"**

Garcia looked back at John for a moment, and saw that he was staring intensely at the paper. He was gripping it really hard, the paper was starting to crinkle at the touch. "... John? Are you alright?" John ignored him. He needed to keep reading. He needed to know.

**"THE BODIES OF THE VICTIMS WERE FOUND IN AND/OR NEAR A LARGE PENTAGRAM. IT APPEARS THAT WHOEVER HAD KILLED THESE KIDS, WAS USING THEM FOR A RITUAL, OR A SACRIFICE. THE INVESTIGATORS ARE ACTIVELY SEARCHING TO FIND OUT WHO. WHEN ASKING LAURENCE, THE WITNESS WHO FOUND THE BODIES, HE APPARENTLY KNEW THIS PEOPLE PERSONALLY, AND FEEL SOMETHING _PARANORMAL_ IS INVOLVED WITH THIS CASE."**

That is what did it for him. The cultist imagery and the paranormal being tied into the case, just like before. Gary came back to haunt them, once more. John was starting to panic. His mind instantly went towards the worse. The cult would obviously have a big grudge against them, so they would go after them sooner or later. He could get killed… or worse, Garcia could get hurt in the cross-fire.

Without knowing it, he threw the newspaper down and put his hands on his head. This startled and caught the attention of Garcia. He quickly made his way over to him, and placed a hand on his shoulder. "John, are you alright?" John was speaking coherently, he was mumbling unspeakable things. "John!" His yelling made John stop. John turned to him, with a scared look on his face. Garcia stared at him, intensely. This was serious, and whatever it is, it needs to be settled. "Tell me what's wrong."

John stuttered, but got his point across. "... Gary and his cult is still alive. It was in the paper." Garcia looked down at the thrown newspaper and picked it up. "This?" John nodded. Garcia quickly read through what it said, seeing the same claims John saw. "... John, this doesn't prove that it's the cult." John shook his head, "No, there's no other explanation, it has to be the cult." "Just because there's been a murder doesn't mean it's cult related." "But did you read what it said?! They were used for a ritual, a sacrifice! That's completely cult like!" 

At this rate, John was starting to get heated, to the point where he was in tears. So, Garcia held John's face with both hands while giving a stern face. He needs to calm him down. "John, the cult's been dead and gone for years. We've killed them, together. You surely couldn't have forgotten that, have you?" John shook his head again. "Yes, then you remember what we lost too? I understand you're afraid, but Gary is not alive. If he were, what were our sacrifices for? Those two women would've died for nothing, John, and you need to see that." 

…

Silence befell the two. The silence… was calm. Compared to all the stress and yelling, silence was good. Silence was something they couldn't have had if they didn't kill the cult. But they're long dead now. No one is going to harm them. No one wants to harm them.

John pulled Garcia in for a hug. Garcia openly accepted it. There was some crying, but that couldn't be helped. Garcia was there to comfort him, until he felt better. And he would keep doing that for him, until the day he die. Because what are partners for, if not to bring happiness?

Those unexpected words might've hurt them, but they would live through it. For it is simply a part of life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! im back at it again! were getting pretty close to getting faith chapter iii, so soon this series will be retired, and ill be making full on works and whatnot. however, as you can tell, i didnt do the christmas special. i couldnt! i had no motivation, and wasnt proud of anything i would put down. so again, im sorry for that. however, ill still be writing until chapter iii comes out, so stick around a little bit longer.


	12. (12.) Before their fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unholy, yet holy. That's how John would describe the two of them. The two started off as priests, working under the Vatican and devoting themselves to God and his message. Now, only one of them was officially ordained, and even that was being called into question. How did they end up like this? Where did everything go wrong? John likes to blame it on the two of them meeting. He couldn't control it, but if he could've, he would've never interacted with Garcia, and spared him from the monstrosities they both would endure. But at the same time… was that really true?

It was inevitable that they were to meet. He knew this well. Allred was the person that tied them together. If it weren't for him, they wouldn't have met properly. However since John was constantly working with Father Allred at the time, it was almost impossible to avoid, even if he wanted to in the beginning. Allred came to him one day, and told him he was meeting with another priest. "This one is from a church all the way down from  _ Arizona _ . Could you believe that?!" He exclaimed, obviously excited about it. 

John shrugged it off, "It is pretty interesting… Why are we meeting with him again?" "Because we need to discuss the possible demonic interactions going on in this town." Allred made a gesture towards the newspaper he left on the table. It claimed that a little girl in their town could possibly be possessed. "If there are truly demons in this town, then we need to know details from an exorcist. Luckily, this man is a part-time exorcist." John gave a look of intrigue, "Is he?" Allred nodded, "Yes, with his help, we could possibly stop this problem before it even began." 

That was what made John suddenly intrigued. This mystery man, coming from afar to help them stop demons from getting into the town. And he was an exorcist no less. He desperately wanted to meet him. He was pleading with Father Allred, asking him to come along. Allred didn't want to risk John's safety, but he pursued. Eventually, Allred caved in. "Okay, okay! Fine, I understand your curiosity. You can come, if you truly wish." John's excitement could not be contained.

Soon the time came to meet up with him, and John could hardly contain himself. Allred chuckled at the sight, "You must try to calm yourself, this man is very serious with what he does. If he sees you like this, he might get offended." John took this bit to heart. He didn't want to upset this man he has yet to meet. They together walked into the church building. It wasn't their church, so they took a bit of a stroll around to not only look around, but to find where the man is.

They entered the main place of worship, where often the people would meet and do their daily ritual. It was there the two finally saw him. Father Garica, in the flesh. His attention wasn't immediately on the men, he was looking down at some papers on the altar, studying them with an intense look on his face. To John, he was almost a bit scary. However, he still had some hope that he wasn't this horrific figure. "Hello, Father Garcia." Allred called out. Funny, this was the first time he actually mentioned his name. 

He looked up and instantly the scariness he bore before completely disappeared. He greeted them with a smile. "Father Allred. And this is…?" He gestured to John. Allred quickly turned to John, "Oh, right! I have informed you I was bringing a guest. This is John Ward, he is my associate at the church. He merely was interested in coming along for the talk." Garcia turned completely to John with a grin, "Oh? Well, it's wonderful to meet you Mister Ward." He holds out a hand, for a handshake. John quickly accepts it, shaking the older man's hand. "Ah, don't worry, John's just fine." Garcia nodded, "Alright, John, lovely to have you here."

His expectations had been completely shattered when the Father showed himself, his true self. Despite how scary he seemed, he was truly a kind person. He had officially warmed John's heart. Not many people do that, and when they do he ends up… Oh, no, he wouldn't want that. Not for this priest. Not for this person he just met. But hey, he  _ did _ look good…  _ "No, no, don't think like that"  _ John mentally told himself. " _ Don't let yourself wander astray."  _

Allred began to discuss with Garcia the events going on in town, "There are possible possessions that have been floating around in the public. The people are getting worried, but nothing so far is concrete." Garcia cocked his head, "So what do we know?" Allred takes out the newspaper that gave the story of the little girl's possible possession, and handed it off to him. He began to quietly read it, leaving the two to simply watch. Now, at this point, a lot was going through John's mind. The only thing he could understand completely and fully was this one thought…  _ He was really pretty. _

**_Wait, no, he shouldn't think like that. That's bad._ **

Garcia looked up from the paper, "I see… There's a very good chance this is a real possession. I believe going there and performing an exorcism would be the best thing to do for this child, considering she looks relatively fine in this photo. I could go, you know--" Allred stopped him, "No no, I wish to help this girl myself. I wouldn't want to burden you with the task anyways. All I need is some tips on what to do and not do, and I'll handle this for our sake." Garcia nodded, "Understood."

Not too long after, they both departed from the church. John left feeling… unsure, confused, about many things. Maybe it was all the talk of exorcism. Nonetheless, the three met a couple other times after that, for various reasons. Exorcism, the church, sometimes even general talk (or if John just wanted to see him again.) This continued, even after Father Allred was killed by Amy Martin. But with each interaction they had, the deeper the hole they dug. And all for what? It was his fault, was it not? 

...Unholy, yet holy. That's what they were. Two priests that fell, together, from grace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> howdy! took me a while to get this part out, obviously. as of now, im planning to write two more chapters after this one, and one of them being a valentines day special (since i skipped christmas.) so yeah! stick around for that


	13. (13.) Hearts That Still Beat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He put his head down on the table, praying that these guilty feelings would go away. However, he knew God no longer could hear him. Not anymore. He could feel his heart strings pull him to that same damn conclusion he has repeated many times: He was head over heels for Father Garcia, and he would never love him back.
> 
> \---------------------------
> 
> Wait. That's not something normal you'd think about… He needed to speak with John. Now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eyyyy valentines day special! pog, right? a bit late, i apologize, but still hope you enjoy

" _What are these feelings?_ " Garcia pondered to himself, as he paced the floor. This… sudden strike of emotion that hit him was unexplainable. He couldn't tell what awakened in him, but something certainly did. He just needed to find out what. God, what was this…? He was left to ponder. Ponder and ponder.

Today, he recalled, was a special day to many. Valentine's day. The day of love. He briefly thought about it before, and he came back to the fact that he wasn't a fan of it. He would always say that though, he realized. Maybe it was because he never had any interest in anyone? Who knows. But he feels as if it's involved with what he's feeling. It has to be, after all, the feelings only came up _now_ , on this day. So it must be connected.

As he paced around his room, he tried to think logically where this could mean. He decided to dig deep into the back of his mind, to look for an answer. In this time, his mind briefly wanders to John Ward. A friend of his, one he would consider to be close with. This man… He was special. He experienced the same hell he did. The demons that once haunted them, had truly brought them together. What was proper traumatic, also had a small positive to it.

… _What was with him? Why did he think about him now? He's not… connected to this, right?_

But then he kept thinking about it… Yes, he could be connected. He could feel as though he was, in some way. " _But how?_ " He questioned. So, he began to think about John. He thought about how they met, which was through Allred. He thought about what they had been through, especially together. Amy and Michael did always seem to be connected to one another. He thought about the last time the two spoke to one another. They said they would rather write to one another, because there might be people listening. John hasn't wrote back yet. He thought about him as a person. Dressed in blue, a young man who was forced through so much. He would kill someone just to see him be able to live a normal life. He thought about how he deeply cared for John. He did, he truly did. All he wants is for him to be happy. To conquer their demons that had been haunting them for oh so long. To see him go on and ignore their connected past. To see him smile, how he longed to see that. To hold him close, not to let him go. To tell him how much he cares about him. To show his gratitude to him, in more ways than one. To get so close, that they could almost--

**_Wait. That's not something normal you'd think about. No… No that's something you'd think about someone you…_ **

… He needed to speak with John. Now.

\---------------------------

There was a knock at the door. John turned his head towards it. He wasn't expecting anyone, so who the hell could it be? He got up, and dragged himself to the door. He took a moment before opening the door. He was faced with… the man he certainly didn't want to see today, but was standing there right now. Father Garcia. "John, this is… urgent. Can I please come in?" Internally, he was dreading this, but eventually he responded. "Yes, you may." 

Garcia swiftly made it in. It seemed like he was in a rush, or at least he was being quick with what he did. He seemed… almost worried. John quickly shut the door and made it over to him. He hesitantly asked, "So, what was the urgent thing you wanted to talk to me about?" "Uhm… yeah, about that." He stuttered. Wait, he's stuttering? Garcia never stutters. How nervous was he for him to go so far as to stutter? "It's… God, I don't know how to tell you this." John gave him a look of concern, "What is it?" Garcia was clearly still hesitant. John grabbed him by the shoulders, genuinely worried something bad happened to him, and shook him a bit. "What's wrong?!--"

"I love you."

…

Silence.

Complete and utter silence.

That's all that filled the room.

John stood there, arms still holding onto Garcia. The shock of what came out of his mouth left him shattered. He had no clue what to say, what could remedy this situation. Garcia clearly did not look any better. It was almost as if he felt _guilt_ in admitting his feelings. 

…

"Is that true?"

That was all that could leave his mouth. A question that he needed answered. He didn't want this to be some sick joke, especially on fucking Valentine's day.

All Garcia did was nod. His voice has left him fully, abandoning him in his time of need. How dare it.

…

John quickly pulled him in by the back of his head, and kissed him.

Garcia instantly melted into it. He couldn't help it, it just felt so right. He grabbed onto John, and tried to pull him even close to him.

They kept at it for only a moment longer, before pulling back. 

  
  


They both looked at each other.

...

And the two smiled.

There was nothing for them to say, all they could do was show love.

So, once more, they embraced again.

Two hearts, that still beat, were finally in sync.


End file.
